Ohhh, I'm tired. But I feel like talking to someone (or something), and my family is busy and my fish is pretty unresponsive to my stories. A lot has happened since I last wrote... I have decided that I am joining the Air Force when I enter med school. It will make my financial situation throughout school a lot easier, and it will provide tremendous job security when I finish my residency. It has some cons though, including possible deployments and relocations for 4 years after my residency. But after talking with many people in the program, they have all said that as long as I am a hard worker (which I know I am), it will bring tremendous benefits to me. While this is all well and good, I didn't make the final decision until I took the backseat for a minute and listened to God's calling. Sure the money and jobs will be good, but what ultimately pressed me to do this was God's voice telling me that I am needed in the military. He wants to use my gifts there (wherever "there" may be), and I plan to do it to the best of my ability. Although Michael is completely supportive of my decision, I unfortunately cannot say the same for my parents. They still need convincing. But I will try everything in my power to get them on board; I want them to talk to my recruiter and come visit a base with me. Hopefully they will see that working on the base will not be that different from working in the civilian world. And that when I'm in a hospital, I feel at home. I don't care where that hospital is; hell, it could be in the middle of the Sahara desert, but as long as I can practice what I love then I don't care! So really, military or not, I will still get to practice somewhere in the world... but the difference is that the AF offers me really great benefits and support systems. Honestly, I can't wait to get started.
I got a new fish last week :) His name is Mr. Spock, just because he's really really awesome. He's one of those beta fishes with the shredded fins, and he's part red and part blue. He was really sheepish when I first put him in his tank, but now he isn't afraid of me. He gets really excited when I grab the bottle of food! He has his own personality; it's amazing how all of God's creatures, even the ones with a brain the size of a pinhead, are unique. I think the inner nurturer in me is coming out... I love taking care of my fish, and for some strange reason I really want to grow and prune a bonsai tree. It may sound really weird, but I just think it will be really relaxing. Hopefully one of these days I will be too busy taking care of my patients and my own kids to have to resort to taking care of a plant to fulfill my nurturing nature. Hopefully.

It's been a while since I've written, but I realized that, because I now live at home, I have no way to effectively release my joys and frustrations. While at school I talk to my roommates and friends, and they are always very open to what I have to say. While I am always open with my parents and tell them about everything, sometimes they can seem a little critical of my choices. But my blog isn't going to be that way :) Since I last wrote, Michael and I have really grown as a couple and matured so much. I thought I was done maturing, but my relationship with him has definitely proven me wrong. He treats me so well, and God could not have blessed me with a better man to be such a huge part of my life. I have never had so much fun with anybody, and it doesn't ever matter what we are doing... sometimes we just sit on the couch, yet I am never bored. I am so glad he moved to Fort Worth so during the school year it isn't quite as difficult to spend time together as it used to be. He is the first thing I think about in the mornings, and the last thing I think about at night before I go to sleep.
I have also started applications for med school... and I have never been more frustrated in my life. I have spent countless hours and hundreds of dollars just to APPLY to these schools... and I am not even guaranteed a spot. But this process, as inefficient and ridiculous as it is, has really shown me that medicine is my true calling. I don't have that much money, yet I am willing to spend it on something that I might not reap the benefits of. I started spending some time up at Primary Care Clinic, and my love for patients has only increased. My Spanish, while greatly improved, sometimes doesn't cut it and I can get frustrated... but I love taking it slow and figuring out what they are telling me. There is a great sense of satisfaction walking out of a room and the patient says "muchas gracias por tu ayuda, senorita." I have also started volunteering at Real Choices pregnancy center, which offers free pregnancy tests and information about options for mothers facing crisis pregnancies. While I will start as a receptionist, eventually I will become a counselor and counsel young women facing potential pregnancy. I cannot wait to get in there and see how God can use me in this ministry.
Man, I love summer... I have done nothing but volunteer, watch Law and Order, and hang out with my family and Michael. But with all this spare time sometimes I forget about God... I have soooo much extra time, yet my quiet times are as short as they are during finals week. What's wrong with that picture? This is something I am trying to solve through my own actions... through the way I live my life. Through my attitude at the clinic, through the telephone at the pregnancy center, and through my relationship with Michael. Everything I do needs to glorify the Lord, and I ask that everyone who reads this (even though it may be no one...) would pray for me, that I will only improve in my efforts. Goodnight, and God bless!